Assalamu’alaikum and สวัสดี (kob kun kap)!
Even before we were put on this Earth, humans have always longed for companionship. The fact that someone would willingly take time out of their lives and spend it with us shows that we matter to them; and consequently, they to us. As we grow more and more comfortable with each other, trust develops and the walls we put up to shield ourselves from hurt and the world gradually open up to that person. It is this sense of security in our most vulnerable of states that is the ultimate sweetness of a relationship. Even though the genders have been created opposite, they will always be complimentary.
- Face off!
When we were young, this feeling, or rather need, was not so obvious as we had our parents to depend on. Also, the coodies (or the Malay equivalent, kudis) that he or she had were a real turn-off. However when we reached puberty, the coodies were replaced with hormones and we became biologically inclined to begin our search for it. In fact, this quest intensifies with age as our increasingly ‘matang‘ thinking leads us to have more worries. Ergo, the need to share them with someone else increases as well.
Naturally, where else would our search begin if not within our own society and environment? In the world we live in today, the most obvious source to ‘educate’ us on companionship or love is of course the movies. Just turn on any movie and invariably you will find the element of love present within it; no matter how brief (e.g. Faramir and Éowyn in LOTR: Return of the King) or unnecessary (e.g. Aragorn and Éowyn in LOTR: The Two Towers) it was. Although occasionally they do get their portrayal of it right (e.g. 500 Days of Summer, kan Ijat? :P ), the rest of the time I disagree with the ‘version’ that is being screened.
And I’ll tell you why.
The major flaw that I find in their displays is that they only portray a relationship prior to marriage and almost none of it after the “I do”s. Typically, a movie would revolve around the following sequence:
Boy meets girl.
Boy falls for girl.
Boy tries to win girl.
Boy eventually succeeds.
Boy and girl live happily ever after.
Oh and lets put in a wedding scene at the very end for completion’s sake.
In contrast, married life is only ever tackled in sitcoms; where every episode and problem is resolved within 30 minutes. Just try comparing the enormous sacrifices of Jack and Rose for one another (Titanic), or how the love between two people could lead to a war (Troy) to that of any of the so-called married couples in Desperate Housewives and you’ll get what I mean. A marriage in today’s definition, is unequivocally, a drag.
This perception of marriage has two negative consequences:
No. 1) Newlyweds are less prepared for the responsibilities and challenges that go with a marriage
Like the movies, many take marriage to be the end of the journey and imagine that life will be simply ‘happily ever after’ after that. However, this is never the case and unless the realisation that marriage requires effort, compromises and sacrifices to work out, even a small disagreement can escalate into a serious problem. This is reflected in the statistics recorded by the Lembaga Penduduk dan Pembangunan Keluarga Negara (LPPKN) which shows that out of 166, 973 divorces that (unfortunately) happened last year, those under 29 years old accounted for 11.6% of it.
No.2) There’s no longer a purpose for getting married
People no longer see the purpose of a marriage. The only difference between a married couple and a not married couple is a piece of paper, they argue. Effectively, this once noble institution which is the only legitimate way for the continuation of our species is now merely considered as a formality; and what better way to make something obsolete other than to make it a formality? Even more worrying is when people consider getting married as an opportunity to make money, for example through prenuptial agreements, nauzubillah.
Which brings us back to the original topic of our discussion: companionship.
Ultimately, all of us share this feeling and want it. However, it is my sincere opinion that going through a relationship without any actual commitments and responsibilities is superficial. Yes, you might attain some form of comfort but I dare say that true loyalty and confidence in your partner will only happen once both of you settle down. 
And mind you, that’s only the beginning. After that, the husbands have to rise up to their responsibilities of educating, protecting, providing and caring for the family and so too the wife. Regardless of how much we want it to be, marriage is not the one-step solution for happiness. However, it provides the path towards it, and more often than not, that’s what really matters.
P/S: Credit to http://rage.com.my/content/stories/going-for-the-happily-ever-after/ for ideas and statistics
P/S/S: Sorry if it felt like Éowyn-bashing up there but I couldn’t think of any other examples at the moment
P/S/S/S: When do you plan to get married?
